The Story of Instant Noodle Soup and How the World of Design Was Taken Over by People with Zero Design Experience
Once upon a hyper-realistic, deliciously textured era in Designlandia ๐๐จ, Sir Skeuomorph ๐ฐ๐ was the Gordon Ramsay of design chefs. His visuals had layers, like a finely crafted French onion soup ๐ฒ๐จโ๐ณ.
Enter Flatman ๐๐. Straight out of the beige abyss that is Yawnistan ๐ณ๏ธ, he had one culinary achievement to his name: mastering the art of instant noodle soup. He could boil water like no one's business ๐๐ฆ.
Flatman turned Designlandia into, well, Flatlandia. If it was a restaurant, Yelp reviews would read: "Very meh, much bland, so square" ๐๐.
But wait! Things went from bad to "Oh no, you did not just do that!" when the Council of Wireframers seized the throne ๐ฅ๐. Imagine entrusting your meal to people who thought stick figures were the height of sophistication. The new design menu? Straight-up cardboard ๐ฆ๐ซ.
Sir Skeuomorph slapped his forehead so hard, he left a permanent dent in his armor ๐คฆโโ๏ธโ๏ธ. "Putting these folks in charge is like letting a raccoon host a cooking show!"
Flatman, staring at his bubbling pot of noodles, had a revelation. "I may be a one-trick pony, but even I can see this is terrible," he admitted, his face as flat as his designs ๐๐คจ.
Tired of this gastronomic and artistic disaster, Sir Skeuomorph crafted the Potion of Personality: a mix of 7 herbs and spices, 16 million colors, and just a dash of whimsy ๐ถ๐จ. He dragged Flatman along to scale Pixel Peak ๐๏ธ, mostly to carry the potion because let's be real, what else was he good for?
From the summit, they doused the kingdom with the potion, and oh, what an upgrade! Designlandia transformed like a caterpillar into a butterfly, if that butterfly was covered in intricate tattoos and gold leaf ๐ฆโจ.
The Wireframers were flabbergasted. "So design actually involves... more than gray boxes?" they gasped, as if slapped by a wet fish ๐๐ฎ.
"Color me shocked," said Sir Skeuomorph, savoring his sarcasm like a fine wine ๐ท๐.
Flatman put his instant noodles aside. "Teach me your ways," he said, humbled and ready for a design diet that included more than just bland broth ๐๐ซ.
Thus, Designlandia entered a new Golden Age, a smorgasbord of creativity that proved that there's more to lifeโand designโthan the design equivalent of saltine crackers ๐๐จ.
The end. ๐ฌ
Moral: Don't settle for instant noodles when you can have a full-course feast. Design, like cuisine, is best when it doesn't come from a packet .
A special invitation from Michaelโฆ
Dear readers,
In the spirit of craftsmanship that has always driven our work, I'm excited to share a unique opportunity to be part of a narrative that redefined the digital era. To honor the contributions of our community, I am offering a 20% discount which is good forever for those who join as annual members in the next chapter of this adventure: a book that captures the essence of our design breakthroughs.
Founding members will be acknowledged on the book's donors page in addition to their year membership. Your support is pivotal in bringing this story to printโa story that intertwines technology, design, and the human experience in ways that have forever altered how we interact with the digital world.
Your engagement as either an annual member or a founding member will not only help preserve the rich history of design that we have crafted together but will also continue to inspire future generations of creators and innovators.
I look forward to rekindling the magic that we created and sharing it with the world through your eyes and stories.
Warm regards,
Michael Darius
Darius/Design
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